This is the first job I'm leaving where I've not been desperate to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to leave. I've outgrown the job itself, and the only prospect for growth would take me in a direction I don't wish to travel. But I'm not itching to leave. While I'm not enjoying the job particularly, I do like working with the (majority of the) people. And I'll miss them once I've gone.
But this hasn't made it easy to find a new job. Every call I've taken, every email I've read or sent has shot guilt through me. I think they've known, even for much longer than I have, that my leaving would be on the cards. Every reference ever made to the chance I could go has been met with feelings that they'd never cope. I know they've come to rely on me over time, and that they're used to having someone who knows their style so well that they can just fill in the massive gaps that get left. I guess it'll be hard to find someone who can just pick that up from day one.
So I do feel guilty about leaving, even if it is time. Although I have my offer, I know it's not worth the risk of resigning until I have the papers in my hand. In any event, it should give
Them five weeks before I leave. I feel guilty that I can't give them longer, to help them out for that little bit more time.
So, for the next weeks, instead of doing everything possible to avoid doing or being at work, I'll be the best I've ever been, making sure I've done everything possible to help them carry on as usual once I've left.
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3 comments:
You have to look after number 1. If you want something more challenging, then you go for it, so you're doing the right thing. Just think of it as a big ego boost that they can't cope without you and know that it means you'll always get a good reference! :-)
you sound lovely :o) It's so nice that you care enough to do a great job even though you know you're leaving.
I'm going through exactly the opposite at the moment with someone that has just left me.
Shit.Everywhere.
It's not that I really care about the job itself, but I really like the people I'm working for - little things like walking back to the other side of the river for a train most nights.
I know I'm doing the right thing for me in leaving, and I guess it's just a new feeling, feeling like I'm almost letting an employer down. Before now,I've always felt like they're the ones letting me down!
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