Jobs and Guilt

Today I went for a second interview at a top ten, magic circle law firm (lets call it X). To be doing that, at this particular time, is definitely more than I'd planned, so perhaps I should tell the story.

After mum kindly offered to finance the necessary items for a new interview wardrobe and the remaining amount on my season ticket loan, I amended the previous version of my CV and got spousal, parental and sibling approval on it. I uploaded it to a job site and intended to forget about it for at least a few weeks whilst showing my colleagues that I did know how to dress suitably for a day in the office. When said job site sent an advert to my mailbox offering a free CV review service, I thought why not? They offered to upload my CV and details to a few more job sites and I agreed, once again intending to forget about things for a few weeks. Despite their email appearing on a Saturday morning, the CV review service didn't work on weekends (or evenings, for that matter), I opted for a weekday call back and didn't expect to hear anything more.

The next day I received a call from an agency who had found my CV on one of the job sites that I'd been automatically registered with after signing up for the CV review. However, I wasn't interested, as although the job was in Putney, it was in real estate. Still, it was much more than I'd expected to hear, especially as I still hadn't applied for any jobs at this point.

The following morning I received another call from an agency who had seen my CV on the same job site as the previous one. They sounded much more enthusiastic than the last, even when I mentioned that I wasn't interested in staying in patents, and noted a few areas of law that I'd prefer to avoid. So I went to meet them that lunch time. Not only did I meet the person I had spoken to on the phone, I also met two other consultants, all of which gave me the feeling that they were working as a team, instead of fighting over which candidate and company they each "owned". Whilst I was there, we discussed two jobs they wanted to put me forward for: one for two of this firms most senior partners, but involving no case work and offering a very low salary, especially considering who the role entailed working for; the other for X. I initially had reservations, while the company sounded like an excellent choice, they were looking to fill a float role, and floating wasn't something I had considered. In fact, I would go as far as to say it was something I was looking to avoid. They mentioned salary, and I'll admit it wasn't precisely in the region I was thinking of, however that region was defined by reading job adverts in London Careers and not based on any CV-related advice I had received. Having been taken in by their spiel about how I didn't have to go forward for anything I didn't want to, attend an interview or accept any job I didn't want, I felt I should allow them to submit my CV and see what happened from there.

In the next few days I received two further calls from agencies who had also picked up my CV online, however neither of them sounded hopeful as they were both looking to patent secretaries, a role I was most definitely avoiding.

A day later I received another call from the agency offering to put my CV forward for an IP litigation role paying more in the range I had been looking at. I asked them to go ahead, but after a few more days still hadn't heard anything further relating to any of the three roles they had put me forward for.

Just over two weeks after I had initially met with the agency, as I was starting to think that I may have been put to the bottom of a pile, I received a call from them. X had asked to interview me and would like to see me as soon as possible. That was Tuesday and I headed in for my interview on Thursday afternoon. Having met with the agency beforehand to discuss how things would work, I headed off to one of X's offices by Liverpool Street. Whilst the tests were somewhat unnerving (I am constantly paranoid about my typing whilst having no problem with grammar and accuracy tests) I passed them all and the interview at that point was plain sailing. I came out feeling positive and was happy to hear, within an hour, that a second interview was to be arranged the following week.

Over the next few days I had plenty of chance to examine how I felt about the role and the company thus far, and found my enthusiasm waning as the weekend progressed. Whilst I had no doubt that X would be a wonderful firm to work for, where I would receive incredible training and have some excellent opportunities, I was unconvinced as to whether I wanted to float, even if the progression from floating to fixed role was anticipated for the majority of people joining the team.

On Tuesday, as I arranged the interview, I made sure to request an early enough time so as to avoid taking further time off work for a role I was convinced I wouldn't take, even if it were to be offered. Despite this, I was still getting a little nervous last night. Even though I was sure I didn't want the job, and wouldn't accept it when I was offered it (I was that convinced that I would be), I still wanted to be offered it. I wanted to know that I could still manage to get a job offer (despite my incredibly shaky work history) and I wanted the security of knowing I could turn a job down.

So this morning I had the interview. I arrived at X's offices and was somewhat taken aback by the size and modern sense of grandeur of their offices. The interview went well and I was incredibly confident that I would get the job. I spoke to the agency and let them know that the interview had gone well and I was still interested. I also mentioned that I was somewhat unsure of the remuneration, especially in light of a speculative call I'd had with another agency yesterday evening that indicated I could easily be looking at 3-4k extra in a fixed role through them. The agency did their best not to be drawn in on this one, and reinforced the fact that I had yet to be offered the job and they would cross that bridge if and when they came to it. Even still, I remained confident and now knew I had laid down good foundations to refuse the job.

All was going to plan, except for the fact that I came to a few revelations about the job itself and my reasons for not wanting a role of that style. To be precise, I was and am scared. The very aspects of the job that I was using as my reasons for refusing any offer were down to fear of these issues. This fear was because the position is not a fixed one, there is frequent moving within the firm and often little chance to become comfortable in a placement. Each new placement comes with its new challenges and a whole new set of people to learn to work with. But, on trying to specify in my mind exactly what I did and didn't want from my next role, so I could be more specific as to what to look for, I realised that these were the things I have been missing out on in past jobs. I always, after a period of time, complain that I'm not being challenged, stretched, that every day is the same and I don't get the chance to learn new things, try different methods and see what works. I get bored and restless when I become too comfortable, and then things start to go downhill. Whilst I relish the chance of building solid, long-lasting relationships, I also know that I am not one for getting too close to my colleagues, so the opportunity to move around, even if infrequently at times, is one to be taken.

Within an hour or so I knew that the job was one I wanted, that despite my fears, I could conquer them, get myself known, and move up the ranks. I don't like to wait around; career development will not be a slow process.

Now the first set of issues had been resolved, the second set was more of a sticking point, that being, money. The money they were offering was 2-4k less than I'd envisaged achieving, and the agency, on discussing salary, had not seemed too hopeful of an increase in the salary offered. In addition, the benefits package may not be quite as extensive as some other major law firms in the city. The only person to discuss this one with was dad, so over lunch I trotted off to London Bridge for a coffee and some wise words. We worked out what I'd be missing out on, financially wise, if I were to accept the job, and thought about further prospects and whether they'd be better opportunities than this one. We ended up with happiness; would it be possible to achieve the level of happiness I thought I'd gain in the role if I were to find something elsewhere, and would I be able to increase my salary over time to compensate for the initial reduction in desired salary. In the end, having calculated what I'd actually be receiving each month, although the extra would be good, I just couldn't turn down the opportunities that were being offered.

However, there was one problem. I had yet to be offered the job.

I received a call from the agency mid-afternoon, but the news wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for. Unlike I had been led to believe, I wasn't the only person who was being considered from the role. But, X had drawn up a shortlist and were looking at the various packages and conditions the shortlisted were seeking. While I stated to the agency that I would prefer the higher end of the salary range, I eventually conceded and agreed that I would still be interested in the job if it were are the lower end of the scale. At this point I'd come so far in my thinking that I really didn't want to lose out.

The next half hour was nerve-wracking. Having been so sure that I would be offered the job, my confidence was suddenly failing me. By the time the agency called back, I was convinced that I had failed, and miserably at that. However I didn't. X offered me the job, at the higher end of the salary scale, and have provisionally agreed to my preferred start date (meaning that I shouldn't miss out on the bonus in my current job). It was rather difficult to wipe the grin off my face, but I had to. As they seem suspicious already, I can't afford to let the cat out of the bag at work until I have the papers in my hand.

I was going to mention guilt at this stage, but it's late, and I'm sure the world is bored of my ramblings for the moment. So for now I say goodnight, I shall broadcast again soon.